From the Beginning

From the very first day of high school, I thought I had everything planned out. I was going to be a Pharmacist. i was going to go to med school and meet a handsome Dr. named Justin or Jerrod, have one child, spoil them to death and grow old... my life seemed perfect. i was a 15 year old girl who never had any problems with other people, i never had any drama with anyone. i had a boyfriend... he was far from being a Dr. much less a Justin or a Jerrod. His name was Zach. he wasnt too good of looking either, but hey, we were only freshmen.
I love to play volleyball so i tried out for the schools volleyball team. i made the Freshmen team and i was supper excited. i got to know some of the girls on the team and i became best friends with one girl. her name is Cassie. unlike i did, Cassie had lots of friends and she knew everyone. well a day after i broke up with Zach she introduced me to Josh. Josh was a tall black guy who was super cute. it was love at first sight. Cassie gave me his number and we started texting back and forth getting to know eachother. after a few days we decided to go out out with eachother. for the first two days of us dating we didnt talk to eachother. we would stand next to one another and text one another. we finaly warmed up to eachother and talked and stuff... thats where the drama began. after about a month of us going out it seemed like no one wanted us to be together. but that didnt stop us. people talked crap and started rumors. everything was crazy. there were problems with his family and my family not wanting us to be with eachother. so we broke up. even tho we were broken up, we still loved eachother and wanted to be with eachother. we dated on and off and dated other people.
Durring the summer, he took my virginity. it was the best thing in the world. then time progressed and i started talking to him less and less. eventually not at all... it was like this for the whole summer. i was heartbroken. Cassie said she never thot that we were a good couple anyways... but i knew in my heart it wasnt supposed to be like this. one day, i texted him to see how he was doing and he said that he missed me and hes really sorry. he told me that he broke his phone and didnt have my number. he tried to get it from cassie but she wouldnt give it to him. so we picked up from where we left off.
The new school year was approaching. it was a new school with new people. Josh and i went in there with our heads held high and ready to face the drama that was headed our way.
Right away, not even a month into school, there was a girl going around saying she was dating him, and they had sex and she was pregnant. i got crap from everyone saying how i was a liar and josh and i werent still dating. it didnt really help that he kept acting weird around me and and she would hold his hand and he wouldnt pull away.. i was sooooo pissed off. after a few months that blew over and josh and i were still together. a month and a half went by and nothing has changed. we were doing great till December. he stated pulling away from me again. i started hearing from people that he had a girlfriend named Taylor and she went to the other high school a few miles away. i kept asking him about it and it was always the same thing "babe, Ive never seen her b4. i don't know what they are talking about". so i made a myspace and added his friends as friends. i found her on myspace and looked at her pictures. she had pictures from her birthday of him and her with his arm around her. i printed them out and showed him. told him it was over and he begged me to stay with him. he didn't have a reason for those pictures. but being in love with him, i stayed.

Today is May 3,2010
Josh and i have been together for exactly one year, five months and, ten days.
he told me he was done with me because i was flirting with another guy 5 months ago. he read the messages on my face book... this guy that i was apparently flirting with is gay! but he doesn't believe me.

after class we went out side to talk about everything that is going on and he told me that i have lost his trust and in order to get it back i have to delete all the guys numbers in my phone, and delete my face book.

I'm in love with Josh J.A. and i did just that. i deleted everything.

i don't wanna lose him

-Volleyball Addict